WATCH: Kamala Harris Comeback Speech: “I Told You So”..

Former Vice President Kamala Harris has finally emerged from her post-election exile—like a groundhog with polling data—and wouldn’t you know it? She came bearing word salad, head nods, and the kind of phony gravitas that could win an Oscar… for worst performance in a political drama.

Yes, folks, she’s back. Not to apologize. Not to reflect. But to deliver a smug little “I told you so” to a room full of Democrat faithful at the Leading Women Defined Summit in California. Her first big public moment after getting thoroughly humiliated in the 2024 election? Not addressing the voters. Not answering for her disaster at the border. Nope. She went straight for the sympathetic applause line: “We are seeing people stay quiet… organizations capitulating to unconstitutional threats.” Insert heavy sigh. Pause for fake emotion. Begin the nodding.

If you didn’t see it (I inserted it below), just imagine Harris doing her trademark routine—slowing down, nodding dramatically at her own sentences, pausing to look pensive, and throwing in the occasional smug half-laugh like she just said something profound when in reality, she barely strung two coherent ideas together. She speaks like she’s narrating a Hallmark movie about democracy. You almost forget she’s been MIA for months after losing to Donald Trump in spectacular fashion.

But don’t worry—she hasn’t changed a bit.

“I Swear, I Wasn’t Going to Say ‘I Told You So’…”

Except she totally did. The same woman who ran a campaign so devoid of substance that even her own party abandoned her is now pretending she saw it all coming. At the summit, Harris warned about people being silent in the face of tyranny (because, you know, talking too much didn’t work out for her last time). She said there was fear in the air and dark days ahead. Then she pivoted to the punchline: “I’m not here to say I told you so,” she said—right before saying it anyway, basking in the applause of a carefully curated room.

It’s classic Kamala: deliver empty platitudes, mix in just enough drama to sound vaguely serious, and always make it about Trump. Because let’s face it—without Trump as a political piñata, she’s got nothing to swing at.

Even Jen Psaki couldn’t contain her admiration, praising the speech as a powerful reminder of “what could have been” if Harris had won. It was the kind of gushing, wishful thinking that only the Beltway echo chamber could take seriously—ignoring the reality that voters had already soundly rejected that exact vision.

Exploiting the Market Dip Like a Pro

Of course, timing is everything. Harris chose to re-emerge right as global markets took a dip thanks to Trump’s new tariff proposals. Stocks were jittery, headlines were flashing red, and Kamala must have smelled political opportunity like a vegan sniffing kale at Whole Foods.

Her whole speech was designed to piggyback off the fear narrative. Never mind that these tariffs are part of a long-term strategy to level the playing field with China. Never mind that the left has no plan of their own beyond “orange man bad.” Nope—Harris saw a dip in the Dow and thought, Perfect time to play Resistance Hero™.

She wants credit for warning us about things that haven’t actually happened. TAnd yet Harris is up on stage selling visions of American dystopia like she’s auditioning for a role in The Handmaid’s Tale.

The Head-Nod Heard Round the Swamp

Let’s talk about that head nod. You know the one. Kamala says something like “We are facing uncertain times…” and then gives the slow, somber head tilt. It’s supposed to signal depth. It actually signals confusion. And when paired with her patented word salad delivery, it’s like watching a TED Talk on how not to communicate.

Former Trump advisor Jason Miller nailed it when he called her speech a “word salad.” It’s a perfect description. You start listening, thinking maybe she’s going to say something real, and then by the end you’re knee-deep in arugula and dressing with no substance in sight. Add a few buzzwords like “democracy,” “courage,” and “equity,” and you’ve got yourself a full Kamala Harris combo platter—suitable for donor luncheons and feminist brunches, but totally useless in the real world.

The Book Bombshell: She Really Thought She’d Win

According to a new book by reporters Amie Parnes and Jonathan Allen, Kamala was shocked by her loss in 2024. Absolutely blindsided. Why? Because she “bought the hype” that she was going to win.

You can’t make this up.

After Biden dropped out and Harris stepped in, the media rolled out the red carpet, and her campaign started believing their own press releases. Apparently, no one told them that Americans were watching her performance as Border Czar, listening to her half-laugh through softball interviews, and thinking, Hard pass.

Even her running mate, Tim Walz (aka “Tampon Tim,” depending on the day), was reportedly stunned. That’s not strategy—that’s delusion.

Her Real Legacy: A Hollow Campaign and A Trail of Excuses

Let’s be real—Kamala Harris’s political legacy is built on missed opportunities, awkward laughter, and grandstanding. She failed spectacularly as Border Czar. She alienated independents. She made every serious topic sound like a campaign slogan. And now, instead of taking responsibility, she’s doubling down on the Trump blame game, trying to rewrite her failure as a moral victory.

But Americans aren’t buying it.

They’re watching the market. They’re watching the border. They’re watching their grocery bills. And they know full well that Harris had a shot—and she blew it.

So now she’s clinging to relevance with speeches in cozy rooms full of like-minded elites, hoping a few dramatic pauses and some head-nodding will turn the tide.

Spoiler alert: it won’t.

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JIMMY

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