Just when you thought it was safe to open your laptop without hearing that cackle Kamala Harris has returned Not with a plan Not with a vision No she’s back with a book because when you can’t win an election you might as well sell paperbacks The title 107 Days And no that’s not the number of laughs she got on the campaign trail That’s the length of her disastrous presidential run Shortest campaign in modern history longest lasting embarrassment
107 Days Of Losing Now Bound And Printed
According to Kamala these 107 days were intense high stakes and deeply personal Translation 107 days of flying across the country discovering that even Democrats weren’t interested This book is being sold as a journal but let’s be real the only thing intense about that campaign was how intensely the voters rejected it
Margarita Memoirs And TikTok Tricks
While most people assumed Kamala was sitting on a beach somewhere with a margarita and to be fair that was probably true she claims she was hard at work writing this book And to sell it TikTok trends Nothing says I’m in touch with the kids like a 60 year old politician doing lip sync videos Pro tip Kamala TikTok can’t fix unlikable
The Colbert Comeback Tour If You Can Call It That
To launch this epic book Kamala chose The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Bold strategy Colbert’s ratings are tanking so fast that Greg Gutfeld who airs at 10 PM is beating him by nearly a million viewers That’s right Kamala decided to relaunch her brand on a show that America decided to stop watching Perfect
The Broken System Excuse
During her sit down with Colbert Kamala dusted off an old excuse she says she’s not running for office again because the system is broken Apparently the system is only broken when you lose It wasn’t broken when she was campaigning It wasn’t broken when she was trying to ride Biden’s coattails Only when the voters said Nah we’re good did Kamala have an epiphany Spoiler the only broken thing here is her approval rating
Joe Biden The Human Shield
Colbert asked the obvious What happened in that debate Kamala’s answer She didn’t answer Instead she launched into a Hallmark greeting card about Joe Biden being a wonderful law respecting president It was so syrupy you could pour it over pancakes She dodged faster than a kid avoiding chores proving once again that dodging questions is her Olympic sport
Leadership What Leadership
Next up Colbert asked the question Democrats dread Who’s leading your party right now And Kamala gave the political equivalent of I forgot to do the homework She said there are lots of leaders and that we shouldn’t rely on any one person Translation There is no leader The Democratic Party right now is like a group project where everyone’s hiding behind the smart kid and even the smart kid dropped out
The Big Reveal Doug Didn’t Get A Gift
You know what’s going to sell this book A juicy personal anecdote right Maybe some inside dirt Nope Kamala teases that Doug her husband dropped the ball on her birthday because the election was coming up That’s it That’s the big plot twist Move over Watergate we’ve got Birthdaygate America was on the edge of its seat to find out that the First Gentleman of Kamalastan didn’t buy a card
The Cackle Heard Round The Studio
Of course no Kamala performance is complete without The Cackle The moment Doug’s name came up the studio was treated to that world famous high pitched laugh that sounds like a hyena choking on a kazoo Pro tip If you’re trying to look presidential maybe avoid laughing like a Bond villain after every sentence
Why This Matters
Kamala Harris isn’t just trying to sell books She’s trying to sell herself as the future of the Democratic Party a party that is currently leaderless rudderless and desperate And if her big plan involves TikTok dances and awkward TV interviews 2028 is going to be even worse than 107 days
Final Thought 107 Days Was 107 Days Too Long
The Kamala Harris book tour is the sequel nobody asked for Between TikTok trends Colbert pity parties and the revelation that Doug forgot her birthday it’s clear this comeback tour is already a flop The Democratic Party might want to find a leader who doesn’t need a ghostwriter a TikTok filter and a cackle translator just to survive an interview
WE’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE COMMENT BELOW
JIMMY
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Who of sane mind would actually be willing to spend money buying a book about wasting $1.5 billion on a ridiculous losing campaign? Maybe she tells why giving celebrities millions to try to prop of an ill-fated campaign from day one? The woman can only speak in “word salad” and likely can’t write any better! Perhaps she might want to try to convince people that even though she did almost nothing for 4 years as VP and came across as being lazy that she has now “seen the light” and is ready to really the country first and try to take the country back to the disaster that was the Biden administration! NO thanks, I want NO part of her 107 days of wasting $1.5 billion with NOTHING to show for it!! What a buffoon! Go home and make Dougie miserable!
I and the majority of this country I am sure agree also –some don’t know when they are stupid even if others tell them –she is one of them !
I agree whole-heartedly, ditto, ditto ditto. I wouldn’t read her book if it was given to me for free!!!!
“Cackles McKneepads” just needs to go home to her well-stocked liquor cabinet and stay out of politics! She is a JOKE!
ANYTHING Kamala keeps this independent voter from ever joining the Democratic Party. Only a fool would waste an honest dollar to purchase anything allegedly written by the cackle queen.
The book eal payments are compensation for services, while she was in office.Whatever they were. Now she is backing wasy from politics, to devote more time to vodka.
Word is that Harris is forgoing running for Governor of California to make another run for the Presidency in 2028. She apparently has plans to campaign for various democrat politicians to build up a coalition and support. She is either self delusional or a glutton for punishment. And she is likely to cause more harm than good for any democrat politician she attempts to promote. With a friend like her, they don’t need any enemies. The level of her incompetence is astounding!
Would someone mind including a punctuation function in the AI algorithm used to create this article?