Bill Clinton was enjoying the view at Aretha Franklin’s funeral as Ariana Grande was performing right in front of him as she was facing away. They used to make fun of VP Dan Quayle for his spelling.
But if he were in a spelling contest with Bill Clinton, Teddy Kennedy and Harvey Weinstein, he would win. That’s because he would have been the only one to know that harass was one word. Unfortunately for Bill, there were cameras everywhere and he was caught checking out Ariana’s booty. But, to be fair, I would have to say, given the circumstances, I would be looking, too. But, then again, I am not a serial sexual assaulter.
It’s always stuff like, “Bill Clinton isn’t sure Al Franken should have resigned for allegedly sexually harassing women the same way he allegedly sexually harassed women” or “Bill Clinton gets angry at an interviewer for bringing up the fact his behavior with the distaff gender probably wouldn’t fly today.” (These weren’t actual Twitter headlines, but don’t spoil my dream here.)
However, I was slightly hopeful when I saw that a clip of Bill Clinton from Aretha Franklin’s funeral was making the rounds. For his multifarious faults, Clinton has always been known for openly revering his favorite musicians. I always found that kind of quaint and sweet until I remembered literally everything else he had ever done.
Grande, by the way, is 25. She also didn’t have a great time with men at the funeral — a bishop touched her inappropriately when they embraced and said pastor also said, “(w)hen I saw Ariana Grande on the program, I thought that was a new something at Taco Bell.” Borderline racist dad jokes: He’s got ’em.
But at least the old horndog had a good time. Not as good as the Bishop, but good just the same.